When I went to visit my Grandfather in the nursing home he said he wanted to go outside. When the nurse asked him if he was certain he said:
"Honey, I have only been certain about one thing in my life. The first time I jacked off, I was certain I would do it again."
"A lie is like a pregnant cheerleader, you can hide it for a while but sooner or later it will show."
another one from gramps