Mycotopia Web Forums - View Single Post - Attention Deficit Disorder, Mushrooms, Meditation and Marijuana

infinity · 12-15-06, 22:29

Let me say that all my life, I have blown my intelectual potential down the drain and slacked off alot in college. I should have had a masters degree by now and working on a PHD, but my problems persisted without any insight on whats going on. I was always suspected of having A.D.D. but never got tested. In 6th grade, I was given an I.Q. test by a psychologist after needing sessions to discuss my recent violent behavior. I was diagnosed with manic depression. Refusing to take the drugs the prescribed, I lived out the next 12 years like most people, or so I thought.

I had always displayed classical symptoms of A.D.D. but because I was suffering from it, I didnt have the cognitive ability to self moniter of course. My parents were constantly shitted on by people which distracted them from these observations as well. So life went on and the thought never surfaced again until years to come.

In August of 2005, I had my first experience with any psychedelic, which of course was mushrooms. It was a light trip, so things were more of a stimulating effect than dissociative like a really high dose. After the experience I was excited because I felt so clear and sharp at the time and for weeks afterwards. Then a couple weeks later, I finally grew my own and ate which was probably about 90 grams wet (I didn't have a scale and didn't think it mattered). Of course, it was strong. I had a near death experience. I really thought I died because of the way my nervous system was shutting off. It was a breakthrough of course and it felt like I turned on a part of my brain that was never on, and it stayed that way for months. I kept on eating mushrooms and found a new intrest in reading. Before then, I haven't read a book in atleast 4 or 5 years. It appeared as though this new lifestyle gave me an intelectual boost that allowed me sustained mental effort (basically oposite of A.D.D.) and a new set of eyes. All of my friends, which were mostly into heavy psychedelics including one of my best friends who is a moderator on the ayahuasca forum, believed that the mushrooms cured some sort of block that held me back from academic success.

Following what I feel now to be poor integration of my new self, I slowed down on eating mushrooms, smoked more pot and became lazy, unmotivated and distracted. Allthough I quit drinking and going out in favor of a more wholesome life, it obviously was not enough to get things cranking.

2 weeks ago I was given the chance to see some ancient Buddhist relics that rarely leave cambodia. Its a relic tour that is deticated to the new Buddha (Maitreya) which is supposed to come in a few thousand years. I was also blessed by a Buddhist monk at the time. I went again and got blessed again. Ever since I have been meditating, and have been digging deeper and deeper into my mind, and realizing how out of control it is. I catch myself engaging in ego self defense mechanisms as well as just either daydreaming and compulsivly thinking about the past or future, but never in the "NOW and HERE". My internal dialouge has been fighting it as well, I even hear myself thinking about how to stop thinking, which is kind of funny in a way.

After recent self monitering, I have found that meditation helps, but takes time. I meditate for about an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Marijuana is good for integrating new information, but must be moderated for me, because I have noticed that it makes my A.D.D. symptoms worse (which came as a suprise because I always felt better while smoking) and drains me of mental energy and motivation. Mushrooms seem like the way to actually cure this condition.

I posted all of this for a foundation of discussion more than venting or comforting. I am open to all sorts of criticsm, as long as its rational and not imature. I want to know you guys experience with all of this. I decided to use myself as an example because I know how taboo it is to discuss neurological disorders and I dont mind being broke open. I have read all sorts of ideas on how to deal with this, but I am still curious to my fellow mycotopians personal observations. So I ask this question, do you have ADD? Have mushrooms helped? Has a long period of marijuana abstenence helped? Who here meditates?

12-15-06, 22:29	#1 (permalink)
infinity Mycotopiate Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 214	Attention Deficit Disorder, Mushrooms, Meditation and Marijuana Let me say that all my life, I have blown my intelectual potential down the drain and slacked off alot in college. I should have had a masters degree by now and working on a PHD, but my problems persisted without any insight on whats going on. I was always suspected of having A.D.D. but never got tested. In 6th grade, I was given an I.Q. test by a psychologist after needing sessions to discuss my recent violent behavior. I was diagnosed with manic depression. Refusing to take the drugs the prescribed, I lived out the next 12 years like most people, or so I thought. I had always displayed classical symptoms of A.D.D. but because I was suffering from it, I didnt have the cognitive ability to self moniter of course. My parents were constantly shitted on by people which distracted them from these observations as well. So life went on and the thought never surfaced again until years to come. In August of 2005, I had my first experience with any psychedelic, which of course was mushrooms. It was a light trip, so things were more of a stimulating effect than dissociative like a really high dose. After the experience I was excited because I felt so clear and sharp at the time and for weeks afterwards. Then a couple weeks later, I finally grew my own and ate which was probably about 90 grams wet (I didn't have a scale and didn't think it mattered). Of course, it was strong. I had a near death experience. I really thought I died because of the way my nervous system was shutting off. It was a breakthrough of course and it felt like I turned on a part of my brain that was never on, and it stayed that way for months. I kept on eating mushrooms and found a new intrest in reading. Before then, I haven't read a book in atleast 4 or 5 years. It appeared as though this new lifestyle gave me an intelectual boost that allowed me sustained mental effort (basically oposite of A.D.D.) and a new set of eyes. All of my friends, which were mostly into heavy psychedelics including one of my best friends who is a moderator on the ayahuasca forum, believed that the mushrooms cured some sort of block that held me back from academic success. Following what I feel now to be poor integration of my new self, I slowed down on eating mushrooms, smoked more pot and became lazy, unmotivated and distracted. Allthough I quit drinking and going out in favor of a more wholesome life, it obviously was not enough to get things cranking. 2 weeks ago I was given the chance to see some ancient Buddhist relics that rarely leave cambodia. Its a relic tour that is deticated to the new Buddha (Maitreya) which is supposed to come in a few thousand years. I was also blessed by a Buddhist monk at the time. I went again and got blessed again. Ever since I have been meditating, and have been digging deeper and deeper into my mind, and realizing how out of control it is. I catch myself engaging in ego self defense mechanisms as well as just either daydreaming and compulsivly thinking about the past or future, but never in the "NOW and HERE". My internal dialouge has been fighting it as well, I even hear myself thinking about how to stop thinking, which is kind of funny in a way. After recent self monitering, I have found that meditation helps, but takes time. I meditate for about an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Marijuana is good for integrating new information, but must be moderated for me, because I have noticed that it makes my A.D.D. symptoms worse (which came as a suprise because I always felt better while smoking) and drains me of mental energy and motivation. Mushrooms seem like the way to actually cure this condition. I posted all of this for a foundation of discussion more than venting or comforting. I am open to all sorts of criticsm, as long as its rational and not imature. I want to know you guys experience with all of this. I decided to use myself as an example because I know how taboo it is to discuss neurological disorders and I dont mind being broke open. I have read all sorts of ideas on how to deal with this, but I am still curious to my fellow mycotopians personal observations. So I ask this question, do you have ADD? Have mushrooms helped? Has a long period of marijuana abstenence helped? Who here meditates?