| When I first started meditating, things didnt seem all that out of the ordinary. Lately, I worked up from 10 minutes per session, to an hour per session/twice a day. This is where the chaos starts. Its written everywhere that it gets alot harder once you start getting somewhere with it. In this book that I am reading right now (which I am having a really hard time focusing on) by Pema Chodron caled "The places that scare you" she talks about how people think it actually gets alot worse when you meditate, but thats because you become more aware of it. Aleister Crowley wrote about the ego fighting back in "book 4".
I think pot is really good for this culture, which needs more of an intuitive boost, but certain people were born predisposed to this intuitive side and need to focus on rational logic. I would have never noticed how bad screws up my attention span unless I started meditating. Once I started meditating, I realized that pot does the opposite of what I want. It builds more of a tolerance to external reality, so my internal reality overlaps it with internal dialouge. Thoughts just rush in, but they are impulsive. Pot also makes me review the past and future, the ego loves to play the time games.
I have always considered myself rational, but thats because nobody ever notices how bad they are misfunctioning while they are misfunctioning. After trying adderall a few times, I noticed how much potential I really had, and I took advantage of my temperary rational thoughts and self examined myself during the experience.
Meditation really works, but the effects are subtle. I decided that I am going to take mushrooms once a week to boost my meditation. I am taking 1/2 a gram of aborts tonight. Not a big dose, but enough to assist in getting me into the "now". I will let you guys know happens.... |