Picking up women

[destroy_erase_improve]

<sits back and watches sweet pick up ridder.

puts on some bob backarack for them(sp)

[Sweetness]

AHAHAHA @ ^^^

Btw its Burt Bacharach

[destroy_erase_improve]

lol i knew i spelled that wrong.
btw sweet. where is your thumb? and why is ridder smiling?
lol jk
gm by the way. stop in chat if you have time. ill be there with a few friends

[sandman]

hehe all that site does it make it to where your not "getting lucky" but your actually making it happen. Makes it moe like a hunt. I dont condone most of that site, just principles of the "game" so think what you will. All i know is that "some" of that stuff really turned my life arround with ladies. You dont have to use it like a sleaze-ball.

I know that you can sit around and be positive and someone will come around and feel your energy eventually. Thats just getting lucky, being in the right place at the right time. Some people are more lucky than others. I dont really have alot of luck, so I had to bring it to me instead of just waiting around.

Both ways, whatever man. Keep with the same flow or not. Eventually something will come along right? Wrong. Nothing is a guarantee.

And to those talking nonsense about me having "other issues" because i spent some time on that site learning the ways - (remembers the time I was once like you, it was a sad lonely time)

[Sweetness]

What matters is that you're not sad and lonely, eh?

[the_other_chap]

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm there Sweetness?

[Sweetness]

Oh no, not at all. I was being serious. Being lonelyis a beeotch.

[the_other_chap]

Sorry, always difficult to tell when it's typed
Yep, I've never been a fan of loneliness, but sometimes it's much better than being with people.

[drumdidly]

I second that chap
sometimes it does feel better to walk alone, and be cynical
mentally judge and belittle people, rely on only yourself
but that irritable, lone-ranger attitude eventually winds up being hellish
and i Reset, and go back to be sociable

[smegma]

I spoke the same words before about gettnig girls at the bar.

A wise friend said:

"You do not go to the Butcher shop to find a Pastry."

[Hippie3]

You don't always catch a fish every time you drop your hook.

depends on the size of your hook, i reckon...


i think the idea of
'just be yourself and love will come'
is rubbish.
getting a woman is a mission,
and one should prepare for the mission properly,
physically and mentally.
leaving your fate to blind chance
ignores the fact that you are intelligent.
why not make that intelligence
work for you ?
stalk women as a lion stalks his prey,
with casual deliberation, subtle movements to herd
her in the right direction.
look for her weaknesses and exploit them,
if she's too fast
move to the next target.
cultivate the appearance/air of confidence
in your masculinity, exude power
and women will sense that power & confidence
and respond.
instead of focusing on your desire,
let her desire become the focus.
help her to build her fantasy,
be the man of her dreams.
above all,
relax and understand that
it is a game.
so play it hard,
and play to win.

[sandman]

amen hip. Thats all i was trying to say too. You CAN NOT SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR WOMEN if you want women. It is a game whether you want to except it or not (sweetness) and you either play it or not (and either get it or not). The game can be a hell of a lot of fun, or a hell of a mess if you make it. Go with the flow? Nah. Control the flow to your liking AND have a good time. talk to every girl that you are interested/attracted to until you get better at it. Its a skill, just like growing or drawing or anything. Practice, and with that comes understanding of the way the game works. Power and confidence will get you all the way buddy! They can smell it like they can smell desperation and need.

Hows it been going? Have you tried talking to any more women since this thread has started? Has it gone any differently? Get out there man, they wont always come to you! Good luck man, I sincerely hope that you get this under control. I hope you guys dont think im some kind of pompus ass for my views of getting women. I just know a lot about it cause it was a hobby of mine for a bit

[smegma]

Right on Hip.

Remember fellas, the old addage that women like jerks is not 100% false. Women LOSE attraction when you try to hard and are too nice.

Truth be told, they want an Alpha male, and an alpha male is not always kissing their ass. Think like you are the head lion, act like it. Don't be a dick, but YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

REPEAT THAT: I AM THE PRIZE.

When women feel that you believe you are the prize things become A LOT easier.

Keep in mind though that there is a fine line between nbeing an ass hole and an alpha male. Funny thing though it seems like ass holes are more likely to land a hottie than "Mr. nice guy I'll do anything to be with you".

[destroy_erase_improve]

"'just be yourself and love will come'
is rubbish."

i semi agree with this
i feel its more "just be yourself and be assertive"

i AM in agreement that you shouldnt wait for a woman to fall into your lap

where i disagree with some is the approach
i feel you should be sincere when you talk to a woman, not just lie to get to the next stage of the "game".

yeah its definately a game of finese, and wordplay, and pushing your good points while allowing your bad points to lay in the back.

but i think there is a fine line between a silver tongue and a forked tongue
its very possible to be smooth and sincere ime, instead of just saying whatever it takes.

good points of advice also are/were:
be into the girl, talk about her, let her talk, listen to her. show her shes important. dont let it all be about you you you

and be confident, no need to second guess.

[Hippie3]

you should be sincere

highly over-rated, imhfo.
no one wants to marry every woman they date,
i do agree that one should not be reckless
with words like love,
be sure you're sending the message you want
in clear unmistakeable terms.
but even a poor man needs good loving
so i see little incentive for one to
be 'totally honest' or candid about
personal info in the early stages.
after all,
if a woman climbs in your bed
because she thinks you're rich/powerful,
perhaps you did mislead her
but doesn't she bear blame as well
if she beds for profit ?
again, to extend the hunting analogy,
using the right bait is crucial,
that goes into the
'give her what she wants' strategy.
it's all mind games, perception and emotion, hormones and pheromones,
be certain that she too has a few deep dark secrets
and all is not as it appears.
remember the adage-
all is fair
in love and war.

[phalanx]

I've been taking a break for the last while. I've been out to pubs and nightclubs but didn't try anything. I liked that. I felt it gave me a position of power that women have, where the man is expected to come running to them. I didn't run anywhere. I purposely didn't eye up any women either. More power. Women like being looked at, and a handsome man ignoring them is a bit of a slap in the face.

I realised I had very low self-esteem/-respect. So I wrote out a big list of all my good points and all my bad points, relating to my looks, personality, talents, career, wealth, family, friends etc. At first I had over twice as many bad points as good ones. By a process of logic and condensation, I reduced my bad points down to one:"I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else".

This simple excercise has greatly improved my self-image and I feel a lot happier. I think everyone should do it. I now have a big list of nice things about myself which I can read anytime I need a boost. I think having good self-respect (not arrogance) is a fundamental step towards having a healthy relationship and for having a happy life in general.

With my new self-esteem, I have become even more aware of the subtle little tricks and traps women set for men, mainly in conversation. They seem to be constantly trying to figure out if you are a man or a wimp, cunning or foolish. Maybe they do it subconciously, but most of it seems purposeful. I have fallen into more female traps than I care to remember.

My new attitude is if a woman doesn't like me for who I sincerely am, then she can fuck off. And I'm not sacrificing any of my self-respect for a woman ever again. A woman would rather die than sacrifice any of her self-respect, right up to the point of being extremely arrogant. It is like a battle of personalities for supremacy. I'm willing to be equal but in no way on the bottom.

I am more aware now of traps in all sorts of relationships in life generally. Many people turn into vampires if you give them an inch due to your low self esteem. I realise there are loads of situations where I blamed myself for things which were not my fault or where I was being perfectly reasonable. But assholes turned it around to make me feel guilty or in the wrong. I let them do it because of low self esteem.

Women, watch out, I am wising up to your tricks!

Thanks for the extra tips , guys.

Yeah, victims tend to keep getting victimized, so don't give up or put up with any shit and you should be on your way to a decent relationship... Weakness attracts the wrong kind of person, IMO, those that like to take advantage...

[pskovinsky]

Originally Posted by phalanx

My new attitude is if a woman doesn't like me for who I sincerely am, then she can fuck off. And I'm not sacrificing any of my self-respect for a woman ever again.

YES

That, right there, is what has turned my life around from being a nice, heartbroken dude with little self esteem, and no belief in his ability to talk to random people, let alone get laid or get a new girl, to being Me, for Myself, and the rest of the world just has to deal with it.
Huge change.
Good change.

Since said change, i've gotten laid with two out of three attempts, accidentaly had a girl fall in love me with, and generaly am liking life a hell of a lot better.

Those are two very important sentances.

Especialy if they are changed slightly, to:
"My new attitude is if someone doesn't like me for who I sincerely am, then they can fuck off. And I'm not sacrificing any of my self-respect for anyone ever again."

[phalanx]

Especialy if they are changed slightly, to:
"My new attitude is if someone doesn't like me for who I sincerely am, then they can fuck off. And I'm not sacrificing any of my self-respect for anyone ever again."

Agreed.

In the past I was so desperate for a woman that I would seriously degrade myself during persuit, and of course the woman would lose interest. A woman wants a man, not a prostrated gibbering idiot with a bunch of flowers who is transparent and easily manipulated (unless he is very rich, of course).

I wouldn't be adverse to lying to procure a shag in a drunken one night stand situation, but I would rather be honest if trying to start something serious. Lying smacks of low self-esteem and insecurity. I have to be able to respect who I am now today, rather than who I plan to be in the future or who I was in the past. If I don't respect myself now, I can't expect anyone else to fully respect me either.

"help her to build her fantasy,
be the man of her dreams."

That thought had crossed my mind before, but I have to be the man of my own dreams first. I like your hunting analogy which I thought about too. Maybe the confidence, daring, cunning and persistence you use to persue a woman reflects your potential primal hunting ability which women naturally find attractive.

[Hippie3]

the confidence, daring, cunning and persistence you use to persue a woman reflects your potential primal hunting ability which women naturally find attractive.

you may well be dead-on there.

[destroy_erase_improve]

its good to point out that not all women go for the same thing
what works for one may not work for another
i have a handful of close friends that are female and they are all looking for diff things in their partners.
one girl likes a guy to be dominating and take control
another girl likes to play hard to get
another likes a guy who is shy, she thinks its cute and approachs them
and she is the same girl who thinks that a straight on approach by a guy is a turn off.

women are impossible to figure out totally. just do what feels right to you . if you have to give a little more effort or attention to a girl your interested in, go for it. if she likes a guy more laid back then dont be as agressive. but through all the hoops you jump, still maintain your identity. be you .

thats what i do, and i fair just fine.

[Hippie3]

not all women go for the same thing

indeed.
but
not all women
are targets.
one must select the type one wants
then pursue,
not just take
whatever comes along first
and adapt to that.
that is too passive, imo.
that's scavenger behavior,
not predator.
you must have a favorite 'type' of woman, yes ?
not just any will do.
you like strong, independant types,
that's your target then.
prefer shy wallflowers ?
that's cool, go for them then.
discriminate,
don't just fire at every passing opportunity,
i learned the hard way
not to mess with the wrong 'types',
just a waste of time/energy
and you might just get trapped
in something you'll regret.
be picky.

[anticheffy]

And I thought I was wierd for living with my ex wifes sister...........

revenge is sweet................

[destroy_erase_improve]

"you must have a favorite 'type' of woman, yes ?"
not really, i have things i enjoy about a woman, but nothing that is set in stone
it is easier to say what i dont like in a woman as opposed to what i do like.

ive had ex girlfriends that vary from petite educated passive women, to thick bubbleheaded aggressive women. i find good points in a lot of stuff.

when i speak it should be said im speaking more in terms with my experience and thoughts

it also coincides that i dont have problems with finding a woman or the company of a woman. ive always had a very silver tongue. but ive never really just laid lines on a woman, just been myself. maybe it just so happens that im pretty outspoken in general.

im not disagreeing with the "picking a target" stuff. when you see a girl you like, and you think to yourself "damn i gotta talk to her, i gotta meet her etc". its good to have a gameplan.

my only variations from the path that is generally suggested above is that you dont just come at the girl with b.s. if your gonna fill her head up, believe me, there is plenty of true stuff that you can tell her that will sweep her off her feet. as long as the guy pays attention he will see it. most women i have dealt with arent slow. they know when a guy is blowing smoke up their ass.

all in all we are animals, and we do have mating rituals, and in life in general the persistant and ambitious succeed much more than the docile and laid back. birds show their feathers, we flash nice cars.
just remember that when "on the prowl" its only a metifore (sp). your not really hunting an animal with no common sense. a weak game filled with insincerity is not gonna get you very far, at least not with anyone substantial imho.

*disclaimer*
now if your looking to get laid and dont care if the girl is a noodle. then saying anything and lying your ass off has a good chance of getting you a one night stand or fuk buddy.