infidelity

[infinity]

Originally Posted by Hippie3

thought some more
and seems to be the
difference between the
'be true to yourself' philosophy
and true loyal love
is the concept of
self-sacrifice.
a man who loves his woman
would give up his own life
to defend her-
but that is not in his own self interest.
sacrifice is inherent in making a good relationship work,
and i can't reconcile the notion
'there is only my self to consider'
with the sacrifice needed for love.

I see your point. I agree, I was thinking about it from the perspective of someone who is not currently in a relationship.

I think being true to yourself is a prerequisite for a relationship. I don't want to affect someone else if I have my own stuff to deal with. For instance, here is a perfect example.

I have been dealing with delusions lately. I have been recognizing that delusions are the source of my suffering. I ask myself, if this girl obviously likes me, than why doesn't she call? Then I think to myself and say "well I am not even conscious of my own actions, and thoughts, so how can I understand these quirks if the person probably doesn't?"

But of course it doesn't end, because I love to give people the benefit of the doubt, I will delude myself into making excuses for the women in my life to justify their actions and often times it leads me back into the same position, which is stuck at home waiting for a girl to call while she is off probably not even worried about me, because she thinks she can use me as a safety net like forrest gump. That's the problem with being simple, people think acting simple implies retardation or something, when really, there are some of us in the world that have recognized that there is a problem within, and we are trying to understand it intuitively.

Then, I run into conflicts with my friends saying stay away, and my conflicts with my mind because I can't trust that my ego is wearing a disguise called intuition. I get these red flags that something isn't right, but I ignore it because it doesn't fit my delusional plans for happiness.

Then I get confused, and remember that I am living in a city where insecurity is very high and psychedelics are not prevalent. So, then I say to myself, duh, of course she isn't going to call, because she is who she is, and not who I imagine her to be.

Had I been true to myself, instead of giving her infinite chances for something solid, I wouldn't be in this mess. I deluded myself into thinking this could work because it seemed ideal and convenient.

And this just happened last night! My ex fiance, who holds a degree in neuroscience is very attractive and intelectual, but she doesn't understand psychic connections so we felt that things wouldn't work out after 6 years of trying our asses off to integrate each others lifestyles. Maybe I will have to reconsider that psychic connections are even possible, because after all, I deluded myself into thinking that I had a psychic connection with a girl that disapointed me over and over (because she didn't fulfill my delusion)

After having the full system reboot with mushrooms, I am way more likely to give my life for someone else. I don't understand why though, those reasons could be selfish, because altruism is a highly debated topic for scientist. Some psychologist have told me that they think altruism is a self defense mechanism called "reaction-formation" I don't know if I agree, but I really don't fully understand my reasoning for wanting to sacrifice. I have taken that risk many times lately. As a matter of fact, I got involved in a heated argument that almost turned into a fist fight between some skateboarders and thugs that live by the public skatepark, because I refused to be a bystander and let suffereing occur if there is some way for me to ease the suffering, so I told these guys that there is probably some stupid misunderstanding that caused that whole mess, but they didn't listen to me, and in some way, I put myself in harms way to avoid a catastrophe.

As far as girls go now, I could either say that I am even more confused than ever, or I could say that I am struggling to perpetuate my delusion because not enough ingrediants of solid reality are here to produce these daydreams.

So basically, I don't know, im just trying to figure it out, and your guess is as good as mine.

[Hippie3]

expect very little from people
and they won't disappoint you.

the complex interplay between courting people is hardly understandable
even to those involved
so i as bystander with almost no info
won't speculate on your situation with that lady
other than to offer this observation-
if you want to find love
look for passion.
that's a first step.

by passion i kinda mean enthusiasm for you from her.
i can tell that passion is in short supply there
as it's been 6 years and gone nowhere, even losing ground.
she doesn't call.

now go out in public and look around, study the lovers
and see how they stay close, touching, sharing looks, laughs.
it's often like they're in their own little world,
oblivious to everything around except each other.
that, friend, is passion.

one problem though is that over time passion tends to drop a bit into routine
but almost never does time increase passion.
my point is that once you get where you are
there's almost no chance of 'fixing' a dying ember of a romance.
you call it your delusion but it's denial instead.

not delusional because down deep you can feel the truth,
you just cannot yet accept it.
it's time to move on, this woman can be a friend
but not a mate.
it's too late for that, imo.

i respect your standing up for peace with the skaters,
and maybe there's a hint there for you
in the rest of your life-
turn up your internal thermostat,
live a more passionate life
and people, including women, will be drawn.

women are marvelous creatures,
once they're mature enough to get past teenage crushes.
they respond more to inner beauty than to physical,
which gives every man a shot at happiness=
you don't have to look like brad pitt,
you can be short, fat and balding
but if you're brimming with life, humor, passion
the woman will see you as a stud muffin.

and if perchance you find a shallow superficial meat-head
cut your loses fast and carry on with the hunt.
it is a hunt, you know,
and you are the hunter.
but you can't set traps or shoot your prey,
your job is to tame it enough to pet it, feed it.

[oibchip]

Originally Posted by Hippie3

women are marvelous creatures,
once they're mature enough to get past teenage crushes.
they respond more to inner beauty than to physical,
which gives every man a shot at happiness=
you don't have to look like brad pitt,
you can be short, fat and balding
but if you're brimming with life, humor, passion
the woman will see you as a stud muffin.

Theres still hope for me

[WHITE RABBIT]

Originally Posted by Fresh Brewed

Hey yall, tell your partner what you want and what feels good. It's been my experiance with my wife that an open dialog about our sex life makes both of us happier....and freakier!

I second that! It's always better when you talk. After each learn what the other likes it's all gravy from there!!

[Hella_Dood]

Man Orchid, I'd love to help you out. Having a dry spell myself. If you like the married type though you might not dig me. I'm a 'nice' guy so I don't ever just 'get laid'. I have to get a 'girlfriend'.

[Hippie3]

heh, help her out ?
dude, you're the first to try to proposition her-
but this ain't the place.
we have women here
because we show the utmost respect for them.
your remark is pretty harmless
but the next guy will be worse,
you know how that goes.

so go to a bar, club or concert and find a girl in the real world.
the ones here are friends.

[Hella_Dood]

100% sarcasm man. I thought the rest of the post would kinda show that. If I offended anybody my bad! Some times sarcasm doesn't translate well to the intro-net. I respect most everybody, no destinction for race or sex, just attitude.

[Hippie3]

not a big fan of sarcasm,
it's passive-aggressive ya know.
but like i said
your post wasn't that big of a deal,
i just don't want to see it get out of hand, deteriorate.

[WHITE RABBIT]

I bet she is/and all other woman here are hot. But you don't want everybody pawwing at them like horny toads. I agree with hips post on respect to the fullest!

[infinity]

Originally Posted by Hippie3

expect very little from people
and they won't disappoint you.

the complex interplay between courting people is hardly understandable
even to those involved
so i as bystander with almost no info
won't speculate on your situation with that lady
other than to offer this observation-
if you want to find love
look for passion.
that's a first step.

by passion i kinda mean enthusiasm for you from her.
i can tell that passion is in short supply there
as it's been 6 years and gone nowhere, even losing ground.
she doesn't call.

now go out in public and look around, study the lovers
and see how they stay close, touching, sharing looks, laughs.
it's often like they're in their own little world,
oblivious to everything around except each other.
that, friend, is passion.

one problem though is that over time passion tends to drop a bit into routine
but almost never does time increase passion.
my point is that once you get where you are
there's almost no chance of 'fixing' a dying ember of a romance.
you call it your delusion but it's denial instead.

not delusional because down deep you can feel the truth,
you just cannot yet accept it.
it's time to move on, this woman can be a friend
but not a mate.
it's too late for that, imo.

i respect your standing up for peace with the skaters,
and maybe there's a hint there for you
in the rest of your life-
turn up your internal thermostat,
live a more passionate life
and people, including women, will be drawn.

women are marvelous creatures,
once they're mature enough to get past teenage crushes.
they respond more to inner beauty than to physical,
which gives every man a shot at happiness=
you don't have to look like brad pitt,
you can be short, fat and balding
but if you're brimming with life, humor, passion
the woman will see you as a stud muffin.

and if perchance you find a shallow superficial meat-head
cut your loses fast and carry on with the hunt.
it is a hunt, you know,
and you are the hunter.
but you can't set traps or shoot your prey,
your job is to tame it enough to pet it, feed it.

Hip, thanks for taking the time to write that. That was so dense for me that it took a while for me to get it sunk in. It just goes to show that we could always use a good look in the psychic mirror through someone elses point of view. It was a very heart warming message and that's exactly why I stay around, because guys like you are always around in time of need. This community is very close indeed.

[orchid]

it was him on the phone. i've decided no, i'm not going to fuck him. bacardi is a poor sub for sex... *sigh*

[oibchip]

Originally Posted by orchid

bacardi is a poor sub for sex... *sigh*

Very true...but it comes with alot less regret sometimes.

I know how ya feel though..sometimes being single really sucks. Other times it's not so bad.

[the jesus]

Not if you use the bottle right...

[Doctor D]

Originally Posted by the jesus

Not if you use the bottle right...

[rocketman]

hahahhahahahahhhahhah! Bears gf bjs

[eastwood]

Originally Posted by orchid

it was him on the phone. i've decided no, i'm not going to fuck him. bacardi is a poor sub for sex... *sigh*

Thanks for sharing orchid.I need to get out more.