First trip (very long, you are warned)

[Mychotic]

I was just reading a thread some guy wrote on his first trip and I figured I'd give it go as well. After all, it IS the reason why I always have a modicum of fear in the back of my mind going into a trip, so maybe the advice you guys have to offer can soothe me in my future experiences. It went a little something like this:

After waiting for hours, some acquaintances (red flag #1) and I finally got the delivery we had been wating for. I was living in a college dormatory at the time and we were in the room next door to mine.. I knew the guys, but not well. I ate an eighth. The taste was not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, at least not in my oppinion. In fact, I rather enjoyed them. That may sound wierd, but then again, I'm the guy who hates ordinary mushrooms! Anyway, roughly 30-45 minutes later, I was barely beginning to feel a body buzz, so I stepped outside to have a smoke. Nothing too wierd happened, but the trees seemed like they were beckoning to me (it was nighttime, about midnight). I went back upstairs to rejoin the merry band and found them watching Family Guy. I was completely unable to stay focused on the show, but the bits of it I did catch were hysterical. Instead my attention was all over the room, as tons of neat stuff was beginning to happen! The walls were "breathing", the bed was "breathing", even the ceiling! When I looked at the wall behind me (about 1 foot away) the texture on the surface of it seemed to crawl around like bugs. I looked at one of the guy's head (hair buzzed very short) and his hair was crawling around too! One of them (let's call him Tim) began to look very wierd, almost like he had an extra set of eyes above the first set and his face was stretching. It made me uncomfortable looking at him. Another guy picked up a guitarre and began to play. I have no idea what he played or if it was even good, but it set the mood to perfection.. though I didn't "see" anything of this nature, the music made me feel like I was in a magical forrest meadow, surrounded by mythical creatures, like pixies. Wierd? That's pretty much the last bit I remember before things took a terrible turn for the worse....

I have a blank in my memory at that point, the only thing I remember during which is looking at the clock (maybe that's all I did for a long time?). It read about 2:00am. Then all of a sudden the room was empty.. I was alone. Not too bad at first, then all of a sudden I was sitting in a different spot, on the bed instead of in the chair as before.. and there were two guys whom I had never met in my life sitting beside me, one on either side. They were both staring at me, one of them smiling freakishly. He said, "Hey, what's your name, man?" "Uh, (name).." I replied. "Oh yea, (name)? Where do you live at?" I began to panic! The only thing going through my mind was "those guys fuckin set me up and put two undercover cops in here to bust me in the act". I quickly stood up and headed for the door. The guy said, "Where you goin, (name)?", to which I replied, "I have to leave... right now." I stumbled down the hallway, which seemed to stretch itself out like one of those never-ending hallways from the movies. Somehow, I managed to get my door unlocked and get in my room. My roomate sat up (he was in bed sleeping) and said "Are you still high!" (he knew I was tripping, but didn't really like the idea, hence being in someone else's room). I just said, "Yea, go to sleep." I stripped down and tried to go to bed myself.... NOT HAPPENING. All I did was stare around the room and see HORRIBLE things in the dark for what seemed an eternity. I've heard that detailed hallucinations do not occur on mushrooms, but I definitely saw little monsters on all of our shelves. Maybe just the books appearing distorted, but I swear they were as clear as day. I averted my eyes by looking at my roommate, whose arm was about 10 feet long and had fused into his leg. At this time I was terrified, but I remembered someone telling me that a shower fixes a bad trip, so I jumped down from my bed (a loft) and shuffled over to my hamper to get my clothes. Trying to put pants on was a nightmare! Every time I had one leg in my hand and reached for the other, I somehow dropped the first pantleg and thought it was still another! It was like my pants had 1,000 pantlegs! Finally I managed to scramble into the pants and make it to the shower. I stripped down and fired up the showerhead.. NO USE! I just felt naked, alone, and TERRIFIED! I felt like the walls were staring at me all over and whispering stuff I couldn't understand to each other. Even the water scared me. So I turned off the showerhead only to discover that I had only pushed my pants down, not moved them away, so they were now soaked. I stepped out into the main area of the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My own face horrified me so I quickly looked away. I don't even know why it scared me, 'cause I didn't look long enough to see anything specific. I think that the simple fact that it was distorting scared the bejesus outta me.

Now I'm stumbling (and I mean I couldn't walk to save my life!) down the hallway, back to my room, feeling like everyone is staring.. everybody knows I'm tripping balls. I get back into my room (I think my roommate harassed me some more, but I probably just blew him off again), and back to bed, still feeling scared as hell, but at least the monsters are gone. Now the trip is all in my head. I felt like I was swimming in my bedding, and if I didn't stop, I'd drown in it. All the while I imagined a million things all at once. No perception of time at this point, so bear with me. At one point I thought I had died. I actually imagined myself talking to God (who was a glowing sphere of light) and he told me I had OD'd. At another point I thought I had somehow traveled all the way to my home, which was more than 2 hours away, by car (and I had no car), and murdered my little brother in his sleep, then returned. I was overwhelmed with guilt/grief. I think I may have even cried at this point.. who knows. Then I began to hear keys jingling in the hallway and people saying, "Where'd he go?" "I don't know, where does he live?" "He lives in that room there." More keys jingling. I was convinced the cops were asking about me and my "friends" were giving me up. I could hear my own voice too, disembodied, saying things like "It's your own fault, you never should've taken those mushrooms.. now he's dead and he's never coming back." Wierd stuff of that nature, but the point is I could actually HEAR my OWN voice! And I wasn't moving my mouth! I felt like I was just lying there waiting for them (the cops) to come; couldn't do anything about it. All this seemed like hours upon hours, but every time I looked at the clock it had only been 1 minute!

Finally, time began to speed back up. I swear I could literally FEEL time accelerating back to normal.. imagine what it feels like when you slam the brakes in your car and decelerate very quickly.. that's what it felt like, except time was beginning to speed up. For a very brief time I began to have control over the trip and could imagine words and then hear my disembodied voice say them. And all of sudden (VERY sudden!) it was over. No residuals, no nothing.. just over in a blink. It was now about 5:30 in the morning. I went outside to have another cigarette and gather my thoughts. "Tim" was out there doing the same. "Where the hell'd you go man! We were all worried about ya!", were the first words out of his mouth, "We just went outside real quick and when we came back you were gone!" Apparently, the two "undercover cops" were just a couple guys who lived on the floor above us. The questions they were asking was just them being nice and introducing themselves.. I only percieved it as hostility. I later became relatively good friends with these guys.

Strangely enough, I felt invigorated like never before. I felt as though I had been to the brink of insanity and back, and I was better and stronger for it. I still tell people that even though it was a bad trip, it was a good trip (if that makes sense). However, I can never shake that little voice in the back of my head telling me that it could happen again, and therefore all subsequent trips have been intentionally underdosed, to the point of no visuals.. just pleasant feeling and maybe some MINOR distortion. I want to trip hard again, but I need to get over that.. any advice GREATLY appreciated.

(BTW: Some info not provided. I have NO idea when the last time I ate was, or any of those other "set up" details. Nobody ever told me this stuff, so I just ate 'em.. no planning at all. Only thing I can tell you is what I described above.)

[hogwild]

Interesting trip story. You might find it more enjoyable next time since you know what to expect, you will be able to embrace the mushroom trip instead of fear it. The first time can be quite a rough one, especially with an eighth. Time is one thing that i find most people have trouble with. A friend who was trippin with me kept asking over and over again what time it was, maybe 30 times within a 10 minute period. Mushrooms are an interesting experience, i think that maybe choosing to do them with closer friends, or in a more comfortable setting might make your next trip more enjoyable. Sounds like you were on a good one Wish i could have been there, im looking for the trip that blows my mind and scares the hell out of me. Goin for the half o of cubensis next week, ill see if i come back from that ok.

[Mycorama]

haha, good story, sounds like shrooms to me...

[spacecake]

That's a bad trip allright..lol !

It will be with you for quite some time,you will learn what went wrong !

--''I still tell people that even though it was a bad trip, it was a good trip''--
Thats something very famillier...most people who have bad trips have that feeling !

--''I've heard that detailed hallucinations do not occur on mushrooms''--
Lol.. where did you hear that ?!
I've seen things..,been to 'real' places (snowed in the summer..travelled,transformed into creatures I would never thought I could !
Shroom trips can be very different,you can even have a good trip without visuals !

This one was just a somewhat hard-experiance to the shrooms ,but doesn't sound that bad at all !
Next time you will enjoy it much better,I'm sure off it !
Just prepare yourself a little better...

Thanks for sharing your story !

[grimes390]

shrooms are the most amazing thing on this planet. Dont ever fear em. Embrace em and let the good times roll. Everything is 10x funner in shroom land. However, it can also be 10x scarier if you let it. If you go into your trip scared your gonna have a bad trip...period.

[Ras Asad]

nice story man, thanks for sharing!

my first time was a lil over an eigth, still remember it well... frikkin nuts man. lol

and I know what you mean...

like, even now, when i think back on some "bad" trips ive had... as soon as the badness was over.. it was sooo invigorating and you feel like a whole new, stronger, better , new person after it...

even though they felt bad at the time , once you realize everything is just as it was earlier, or once you realize its not actually 'real'... its a big weight off your chest. huge.

plus... with high doses, on some big rides... having yer stomach crunched up and flexed tight for hours sometimes, then releasing them after all that is quite enjoyable to. lol... like... ahhhhhh thats niiiiice.
lol

ahh i miss that.

[extrememetal43]

ya my first trip on mush was an eighth and i was all about time. I was even carryin a big wall clock w me. My friend who was drivin was convinced that we were gona get busted cuz the cops would know we were trippin...y else would one carry a big clock. good fkn times. and i hav anxiety everytime i trip due to the experiences ive had where it didnt go as planned.

[Shroomette]

Lots of very good advice guys I couldn't have said it better I totally agree that your next trip will be excellent b/c now you know what your anxieties and paranoias are (Being scared during a first trip is a given). I agree with it has to be around ppl you trust and the environment. That was a plus for me. But, as with life learning never ends the same is with shrooms. Thanks for sharing your story Mycholic.

[EcuadorianMush]

my only bad trip was lookin the moon... and feelin deppressed... why ?
i don;t know why...

[Psychedelic Monkey]

You have a pretty mature attitude about all the wierd (sometimes unpleasant) stuff that goes along with the mind blowing blissful parts of tripping, so i would try again in a good environment. If you're in a place where you feel safe with people you trust and like hanging out with the next time will be amazing.

PS - I've never liked tripping in college dorms.. it really brings out the police state nature of those places, or at least the ones I lived in.

[ernestro]

P.S.: Mychotic, i've gotten sucked in too, . there is something adressed to you on the bottom.)


"PS - [b]I've never liked tripping in college dorms.. it really brings out the police state nature of those places, or at least the ones I lived in."
.......heheh...appears to be so: )

spacecake: "I've seen things..,been to 'real' places (snowed in the summer..travelled,transformed into creatures I would never thought I could !"

-----------> how much cubes would that weight? I'm really interested, cause my first one was 3g (a little less than 1/8o.) and i had....
some visuals (pretty pretty dancing patterns on surfaces, texture&emboss, objects looked like a cut-out photography sticked to a background photo hehe)
and
an interesting ego happening (merge with "rest", mickey mouse on the mug seemed a nice guy. But we were ..not in the mood for small talk. rather we just looked and smiled at each other: )As i did to various characters in my flaT, includin' myself in the mirror. I mean Wow. that's almost another story though.

functionlessness (how to operate a mobile phone?...or screw a lid on the juice. et cetera hehe...),

mindlessness/heavy confusal ( words?...what's that? what's what? what is? is? what's that, is?).

On big mothafocking confusal somewhere inbetween showed up, evolving into feeling, thoughts about the world. How some things function. Between people. How they should or, could...Feelings, thoughts about myself. and unexpected sudden explosions of laughter...mostly when an paradoxall things crossed my mind and strangely, they made much sense. Some still do.
Acceptance. firstly, of myself. Which was a pretty big thing for me, as i have been sometimes pretty...harsh on myself. an therefore, the others around.
I felt..damn i can't say...how cooled by the shroom hehhe. And this kinda flew to the "outdoor" world. It was like something, someone inside me at one point gently whispered very soothing sentances... It stoped time and i was "forced" to look. There simply wasn't anything else. And i(t) showed things of ONLY importance.

I felt tingling in my spine. my fucking spine felt good. I moved a lot around the flat. Made some pretty weird spine streching. i felt energy in what i later read seems to be chakras. kundalini stuff.

I felt really amused with these "paradoxes", symmetries or what...hard to explain. Kinda like finding a golden middle of a otherwise paradoxicall thing. OK, enough with this word: D....Peace, tranquility, balance.

I had music. i loved it. I played guitar for hours. i loved it. it was just flowing out. kind of improvisational...I was dancing for i don't know how long. Then i saw i had my curtains up. And it was night. And across the "park", about 40m, there's another building. With many flats. : ) But i didn't get disturbed by that (mentally). I stopped dancin' and jumping and moving and stuff and fall on the bed laughing my ass off for people definately seeing me. heheh..No fuckin' way i'd be dancin' in a "window" in a sober state...damn. I really surprised myself that night in a very positive way. I realised, there's much to being alive. And much much more, if you let yourself. I really had these terms coined for me then, and it wasn't by someone elses interpretation. It was own. ME. I. Well things started to make sense finally
the voice said...you live to love life.

I felt soo good in my body. like really. At times, i was like "orgasming" when i slowly circled my head around an around an around.....listening to...everything.

. Time was weird though. I was getting ready to go for ciggarezze for 2 hours. But i didn't mind it at all. I remember not actually being able to judge the length of the zigg.

I was alone though. I wanted to have my first steps in an ultimately intimate contitions heh. (i really don't like the paranoia of smokin' grass, which somethimes happen when i'm not in the set (yea, i need a bit of that even on MJ).) So i wanted the shroom confrontal mano a mano: D
(well talk about planning e?, actually i've shared quite a bit through the windows gheh).

i didn't lay down much. Or have my eyes closed. Except for the first hour, when i had nausea, which was gradually been washed away...by trying just to breathe and relax...it worked great)

i talked to a buddy over the net, who did shrooms before. he calmed me down about the confused things of the trip. There we're some. identity crisis and stuff on the come down. After that...i was..fully, i mean fully content. I had a smile till i fell asleep. which was HARD. my bodymind felt like an quantum computer, whatever that is....i was the most pleasantly tired, like after a good...fuck (can't put it simpler: D then a slow slowdown from an +9 hour overdrive.


damn dick.
Sorry for "hijacking" your thread man. I mean...i...i..just got sooo into it after remembering: ) it was one of the best things. just..a big glad memory
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Anyway,

in the begining, the initial attempt was to just say: do take the advice from 'topians, you are surely to succeed! be around people you trust, or alone. it's really an intimate thing. Trust yourself. truthfully. don't be affraid. accept your trip. Make yourself a nice comforting ambient. Then just let your self go. I'm sure you'll have a bomb-ass time living thru every second of the trip, when the conditions are aligned with your inner-spirit. ReckognizE them, it's your duty to thyself!

wishing you the utter best, J.

[spacecake]

I took only 3 grams dry Ernestro...

[ernestro]

yea i'w been eating less and less as well, to figure out how this fire works

[wavelength]

everytime i do shrooms they remind me what it is really like to be a human...to enjoy the warmth of another persons touch or even presence..to have telepathic communication through the use of vocal vibrations and to have the capabilities to free move about/examine/change our universe....its mind blowing everything---but its more than a reminder its a feeling of being at pure joy with my being

[Mychotic]

I tripped again several months ago now. It was beautiful.

Myself and some (close trusted) friends ate 'em and watched Across the Universe... no better time! We actually started off with Enter the Matrix, which was pretty cool, but when the giant robots started ripping people out of their vehicles and butchering them and such, I started freaking and they switched to AtU.

If you haven't watched that film on psychadelics, do so ASAP. You will not regret it. I could "see" the music. I'm having a hard time explaining that adequately, but that sums it up fairly well.

No more am I afraid