Mind Boggling Experience

InsidiousDecrepancy · 02-23-07, 16:55

I dosed 4 grams of B+, followed by a 2 shots of lemon juice, and half a cup of tea afterwards. I tried to type out what I was feeling and just general thoughts during the trip. I experienced a totall loss of ego. I couldn't remember what was real. What my life was about. Who I as. Anything. When I refer to the "norm" I was simply refering to being sober. This was my 3rd time tripping, and as you will see the dose was probly too large, although I don't regret it. I remember at one point, I couldn't remember what I was, I felt like I was in a infinite empty space, just thoughts floating around, and everything I saw with my eyes were just merely paintings and portraits in 2D.
Enjoy...

I AM OK WITH THE DARKffice

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Words cannot describe how I feel. I can’t even tell you what I have missed so far. I feel like by not typing this message I am doing the world a misfavour. Could you imagine what life is like for adam back in the norm. Were life is not like it is here. The keyboard is the only way where I can relay my thoughts back to the NORM. My thoughts race much too fast too really capture what is indeed happening. Even now I cannot fathom what the NORM is like. If someone where to come down at this very moment. I don’t know if I would be able to return. It’s impossible to think about. This is more intense than anything before in my life. The walls move with the music. I feel I need to write this down so that in years and years later I will see what it was that happened to me that day… the day I cannot even be in the norm. It’s funny when I try and touch with reality. But yet it serves as a certain impossibility. The thought that I could be reading this in 20 years time is impossible. Where is ADAm WHO IS ADAM. WHERE WILL ADAM BE IN THE FUTURE. Am I ok with adam. There are so many more human emotions than what the world merely describes. There are emotions that aren’t captured. I feel thesse emotions. The changes of my thoughts are impossible. If anyone tried to “understand” what was happening it would be impossible. I feel that sometimes my words don’t portray as I wish them too. Sometimes I feel that I am restricted by the brain I possess. The thoughts I have are impossible. The realm in which we exist is not known. There is so much more to existense. That we don’t even know. I try and try to materialize these things. But it is IMPOSSIBLE. This state is like no other. I feel like I am the informer. The things that are happening to me as I write this are incredible. I am becoming consumed with the keyboard. This is unreal really. I have thoughts of what it will be like to have other people reading this. People that are close to me. But they will have no way of knowing. The inability I have to speak what is so infinite. What are words. So many thoughts cannot be portrayed into anything that can be shown to other people. IT is insane. I feel like I am being shaken down to the core. The smallest being. Before me lies sooo much. The information that we could learn in a lifetime is beyond amazing. It’s spectacular how I try so hard to grip what is the norm. But I cannot. This is like nothing ever experienced before. It scares me how we are melded to act or think a certain way because of a fear of what people will think of us. We trying to explain this. It’s like reality. Is nothing. Seeing what you know is real and it not being there. Is something that every human being must experience in their life. Even now I think back upon what I have written and I wonder if it will be excepted by others. My mind is a constant racing… being to<O

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It is so impossible to show what I’m thinking materialize. What I am experiencing is so real. So full. Raw human emotion. So much more than a good high or anything like that. Everyting is just way too real. Hi Vanessa. I want to type my inner deepest thoughts. But Ican’t. I have fear. Of something else. I am questioning everything that is me. I want to find someone. And be with them. What is existence. I am questioning what is real. So this is described… loss of ego. This is so much more than I could ever know. All threw mycotopia and whatnot. I just had no fucking idea. It’s hard being subjective to my own thoughts. This is so much more incredible than a couple of enhanced visuals. I can’t decide what really exists, and why it does. I'm trying to grip reality<O

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Ospdske. says:<O

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man I had no idea that this is what sychedelics did to you<O

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Ospdske. says:<O

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you read about it<O

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Ospdske. says:<O

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but you really can't even grasp what it is like untill you feel it<O

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I keep trying to grasp something of what I am. Who am I. Who do I know. I want companionship badly. <O

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THIS is loss of ego. I feel like I shouldn’t go over and edit all this. As it’s all like all these words are a story, an experience. This is extreme. I’m having trouble <O

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The thought patterns are too complex I am viewing life as a video game. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what is real. But it’s so much more than that. I keep thinking that it’s OK YOU WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL< YOU WILL GO BACK TO REALITY. BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THAT IS. Life and work. FUICKIG FUCN I just try and think of this state. This state that I live in. Where I have these possessions. But they mean nothing. I am nothing. I interact with people. But what does that mean. I have basic needs. Sleep is an escape from the state which we are in. If I want this to stop, what do I want to go back to? What was back there when I wasn’t here. How did I end up here, sitting here. Typing. Living. lace>Reading</ST1

lace>. Breathing. Creating. What is time…………. TOTAL LOSSO F TIME> I must explore this more. Datura. Morning Glory. LSD. Salvia.<O

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I KNOW WHAT TIME IS<O

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It’s <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com

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Who am I<O

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This will stop? But what is this? Human wants and needs? Human desires. We want to be something <O

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We have things that we want<O

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Things that makes us happy.\<O

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I am me<O

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I am in my basement.<O

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I will look back on this and it will blow my mind. But what is that……………………………. What is money. Why do we need money. This is living. Life is not a novelty. Money is numbers. This entity. This form that drives our lives. If the president saw this <O

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It’s like my life is a video game. I’m seeing all this stuff. I go to work at the fucking brick. For what. I payed for these things. But what are yrthey.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenag’weiak’rgo’< O

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Asphakw’nirklmfd/ ,.zv/xcm<O

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Wpgajsmzv/ d.,xc<O

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Waoepnsmz,. Dv/xcw’igenlks/mzdv,. Cx<O

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I think I am coming back. I can see matter space and time again. I can feel emotions. I can relate to time and space. I will wake up and this will have been one of the most intense experiences of my life.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee<O

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(Some names and places where changed to keep anonymity.)

eastwood · 02-23-07, 19:12

yep !!! Killer .. You said only 3rd time eating the jewels..I dont see how you sat infront of that pc so long heheheh maybe next time go outside.. Ya know, listen to the earth breath kinda shit.Maybe be able to explore a little more...

oibchip · 02-23-07, 19:21

Hehe....sounds like you had a humdinger

InsidiousDecrepancy · 02-23-07, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastwood

yep !!! Killer .. You said only 3rd time eating the jewels..I dont see how you sat infront of that pc so long heheheh maybe next time go outside.. Ya know, listen to the earth breath kinda shit.Maybe be able to explore a little more...

Unfortunatly it's still winter, and still very cold, so I can't yet go outside for long periods of time

Although I would have loved to

I was basically running around my basement holding on for dear life. The computer brought me comfort because I could talk to my friends on msn, my only real connection to people that I knew existed lol.

eastwood · 02-23-07, 23:51

Good ol Humdinger ...(*__*)...

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02-23-07, 16:55	#1 (permalink)
InsidiousDecrepancy Mycotopiate Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 456	Mind Boggling Experience I dosed 4 grams of B+, followed by a 2 shots of lemon juice, and half a cup of tea afterwards. I tried to type out what I was feeling and just general thoughts during the trip. I experienced a totall loss of ego. I couldn't remember what was real. What my life was about. Who I as. Anything. When I refer to the "norm" I was simply refering to being sober. This was my 3rd time tripping, and as you will see the dose was probly too large, although I don't regret it. I remember at one point, I couldn't remember what I was, I felt like I was in a infinite empty space, just thoughts floating around, and everything I saw with my eyes were just merely paintings and portraits in 2D. Enjoy... I AM OK WITH THE DARKfficeffice" /><O></O> <O></O> Words cannot describe how I feel. I can’t even tell you what I have missed so far. I feel like by not typing this message I am doing the world a misfavour. Could you imagine what life is like for adam back in the norm. Were life is not like it is here. The keyboard is the only way where I can relay my thoughts back to the NORM. My thoughts race much too fast too really capture what is indeed happening. Even now I cannot fathom what the NORM is like. If someone where to come down at this very moment. I don’t know if I would be able to return. It’s impossible to think about. This is more intense than anything before in my life. The walls move with the music. I feel I need to write this down so that in years and years later I will see what it was that happened to me that day… the day I cannot even be in the norm. It’s funny when I try and touch with reality. But yet it serves as a certain impossibility. The thought that I could be reading this in 20 years time is impossible. Where is ADAm WHO IS ADAM. WHERE WILL ADAM BE IN THE FUTURE. Am I ok with adam. There are so many more human emotions than what the world merely describes. There are emotions that aren’t captured. I feel thesse emotions. The changes of my thoughts are impossible. If anyone tried to “understand” what was happening it would be impossible. I feel that sometimes my words don’t portray as I wish them too. Sometimes I feel that I am restricted by the brain I possess. The thoughts I have are impossible. The realm in which we exist is not known. There is so much more to existense. That we don’t even know. I try and try to materialize these things. But it is IMPOSSIBLE. This state is like no other. I feel like I am the informer. The things that are happening to me as I write this are incredible. I am becoming consumed with the keyboard. This is unreal really. I have thoughts of what it will be like to have other people reading this. People that are close to me. But they will have no way of knowing. The inability I have to speak what is so infinite. What are words. So many thoughts cannot be portrayed into anything that can be shown to other people. IT is insane. I feel like I am being shaken down to the core. The smallest being. Before me lies sooo much. The information that we could learn in a lifetime is beyond amazing. It’s spectacular how I try so hard to grip what is the norm. But I cannot. This is like nothing ever experienced before. It scares me how we are melded to act or think a certain way because of a fear of what people will think of us. We trying to explain this. It’s like reality. Is nothing. Seeing what you know is real and it not being there. Is something that every human being must experience in their life. Even now I think back upon what I have written and I wonder if it will be excepted by others. My mind is a constant racing… being to<O></O> <O></O> It is so impossible to show what I’m thinking materialize. What I am experiencing is so real. So full. Raw human emotion. So much more than a good high or anything like that. Everyting is just way too real. Hi Vanessa. I want to type my inner deepest thoughts. But Ican’t. I have fear. Of something else. I am questioning everything that is me. I want to find someone. And be with them. What is existence. I am questioning what is real. So this is described… loss of ego. This is so much more than I could ever know. All threw mycotopia and whatnot. I just had no fucking idea. It’s hard being subjective to my own thoughts. This is so much more incredible than a couple of enhanced visuals. I can’t decide what really exists, and why it does. I'm trying to grip reality<O></O> Ospdske. says:<O></O> man I had no idea that this is what sychedelics did to you<O></O> Ospdske. says:<O></O> you read about it<O></O> Ospdske. says:<O></O> but you really can't even grasp what it is like untill you feel it<O></O> <O></O> I keep trying to grasp something of what I am. Who am I. Who do I know. I want companionship badly. <O></O> <O></O> THIS is loss of ego. I feel like I shouldn’t go over and edit all this. As it’s all like all these words are a story, an experience. This is extreme. I’m having trouble <O></O> <O></O> The thought patterns are too complex I am viewing life as a video game. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what is real. But it’s so much more than that. I keep thinking that it’s OK YOU WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL< YOU WILL GO BACK TO REALITY. BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THAT IS. Life and work. FUICKIG FUCN I just try and think of this state. This state that I live in. Where I have these possessions. But they mean nothing. I am nothing. I interact with people. But what does that mean. I have basic needs. Sleep is an escape from the state which we are in. If I want this to stop, what do I want to go back to? What was back there when I wasn’t here. How did I end up here, sitting here. Typing. Living. lace>Reading</ST1lace>. Breathing. Creating. What is time…………. TOTAL LOSSO F TIME> I must explore this more. Datura. Morning Glory. LSD. Salvia.<O></O> <O></O> <O></O> <O></O> I KNOW WHAT TIME IS<O></O> It’s <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<st111:43</st1:time><O></O> Who am I<O></O> This will stop? But what is this? Human wants and needs? Human desires. We want to be something <O></O> <O></O> We have things that we want<O></O> Things that makes us happy.\<O></O> I am me<O></O> I am in my basement.<O></O> <O></O> I will look back on this and it will blow my mind. But what is that……………………………. What is money. Why do we need money. This is living. Life is not a novelty. Money is numbers. This entity. This form that drives our lives. If the president saw this <O></O> <O></O> It’s like my life is a video game. I’m seeing all this stuff. I go to work at the fucking brick. For what. I payed for these things. But what are yrthey.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenag’weiak’rgo’< O></O> Asphakw’nirklmfd/ ,.zv/xcm<O></O> Wpgajsmzv/ d.,xc<O></O> Waoepnsmz,. Dv/xcw’igenlks/mzdv,. Cx<O></O> <O></O> <O></O> I think I am coming back. I can see matter space and time again. I can feel emotions. I can relate to time and space. I will wake up and this will have been one of the most intense experiences of my life.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee<O></O> (Some names and places where changed to keep anonymity.) __________________ The void of unexistance, Seeps the lies of humanity, Decrepit Birth

02-23-07, 19:21	#3 (permalink)
oibchip Space Lord Modulator Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 5,016	Hehe....sounds like you had a humdinger __________________ Please standby while I find a decent quote for my sig

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02-23-07, 19:12	#2 (permalink)
eastwood Mycotopiate Join Date: Jul 1972 Posts: 1,811	yep !!! Killer .. You said only 3rd time eating the jewels..I dont see how you sat infront of that pc so long heheheh maybe next time go outside.. Ya know, listen to the earth breath kinda shit.Maybe be able to explore a little more...

02-23-07, 23:51	#5 (permalink)
eastwood Mycotopiate Join Date: Jul 1972 Posts: 1,811	Good ol Humdinger ...(__)...