2009 Vision Quest

[beautypath]

Hello My Fellow Mycotopians,

Just returned from my 2009 vision quest on 900 mg of my own Trichocereus extract. This was ultra purified product that was a year in the making, so I got away to my sacred place that I have frequented in the past and has a lot of good karma stored there.

The venture started ominously with a thunderstorm and lots of lightning as I made my way into the area. This dropped the temperature by 15 degrees in about 1 hour and turned the dirt road into mud. I took this as a test from the Great Spirit as to my resolve to do this quest, so I pushed on. Very soon I slid into the ditch next to the road and couldn't get out even in 4 wheel drive. Got out in the freezing rain and took the tires down to 20 pounds and moved forward towards a running wash full of quick sand. Took this at a run and cleared it to the other side and into my designated camp site overlooking my sacred mountain.

Next day I climbed my sacred mountain, and offered my medicine pouch of olive oil and cat tail pollen to the gods Athena and Demeter. Beautiful day up there in the sky looking out into the wide valley below.

Climbed down and back to camp where I downed the entire 900 mg at one swallow. Thought I had 2 or 3 hours before the ride would start, but was wrong! The mescaline came on me like a tiger at 1 hour and burst into a peak by 2 hours. Colors bright and fluorescent all across the land and the sky. Very jittery for about 2 hours and almost felt like my soul was trying to jump out of my body. Did a lot of Om Mani Padme Hums to keep focused and that helped me from melting into a chaotic heap. Glad I chose a very isolated spot because there were times I wasn't sure what I was doing. Fluorescent snakes and lizards lying about the site but they were not threatening and seemed to be a natural part of my place. Some of the lizards and birds were crawling and flying through my brain at times.

My goal on this quest was to explore the meaning of being awake as the Buddha expained it, but this was not to be. I was swept into a place where I saw that all humans except those that are truly awake are filled with fear and confusion ( ignorance ). This is what I deal with every day at work so I guess this is what the Great Spirit wanted me to deal with. My patients who I have been losing patience with recently are always in a state of fear and ignorance and come to me for reasurance and guidance. They often mask their fear and ignorance with hostility and lies so it is difficult to deal with. Great Spirit showed me that I must be less sensitive to their hostility and dismiss their lying so I can get to the real issue which is their fear. Especially with the H1N1 flu raging across the country and the media playing it up as the sudden death about to strike down the healthy in less than a day. I saw clearly that my duty is to keep a compassionate and composed state in order to effectively do my job as a physician.

At sunset the mescaline peaked and the golden light turned the entire landscape into a pure realm of blissful color. It was so beautiful I wanted to embrace the mountain, the trees, the sky, and the fading light. Another prayer to Great Spirit was made and then the night. Shooting stars leaving tracers of colored dust, and stars cold and bright as diamonds. Those stars, many like our sun and maybe with other sentient beings like ourselves; it is the same out there for them too.

Finally felt the grip of the mescaline relaxing at about 7 1/2 hours out and relaxed with the headphones on. Played R. Carlos Nakai-William Eaton-William Clipman then the Greatful Dead. Everyone was beautiful in their own way, telling their own story of wonder and psychedelic bliss.

Now down and back to work, hopefully a better person and physician. Like I posted to DPwishy a while ago, it's retaining that glow that is so hard to keep in the face of the constant onslaught of fear, hostility and ignorance that our fellow humans bring at us every day and which is the real test of our trips to the other side.

Well that's enough of this long winded ramble so I offer it up to all of you for what it is worth.

Beauty, Peace and Enlightenment to all of you.

[Calaquendi]

Thanks beautypath, very nice report!

Indeed, holding on to our insights and intuitions received during an experience is a challenge - the mundane creeps back in ever so slowly. I hear you concerning people's hostility being a mask for their fears, I have used anger to cover fear myself. When it comes down to 'brass tacks' I believe there are only two genuine human emotions: Fear and Love. I think all other emotions we experience are spokes on the wheel so to speak, radiating outward from a place either of fear or love...what is difficult for me, and for many I deem, is the acknowledgment that I have a choice in the matter...will I choose to experience my circumstances from a perspective of fear, or love? This is the learning curve...

Great write up, thanks for sharing!

[Aislyn Wendell]

Beautiful, thank you for sharing!

[copelandiaKidd]

beautiful write-up. really enjoyed. the Bridgesii Speaks!!!!!!!!!!

[ChimX]

I enjoy reading trip reports in general, but when someone as sincere and respectful of plant and ceremony as yourself posts, my faith in humanity is restored. May Devi shine on you and help you retain your glow.

[bbd2]

how can u attain the state beyond desire by desiring it?

are well-educated complaint patients any better than ignorant non-compliant patients from the buddha's point of view?

our mind always shows us what we want to see
whether we understand what we see the way we expected
depends on how well we understand our expectations

kinda like the buddhist story in which asanga was carrying the dead dog's rotting carcass on his shoulder
and various ppl saw it as different things
some saw it as the buddha, some saw a dead rotting dog

Asanga was one of the most famous Indian Buddhist saints, and lived in the fourth century. He went to the mountains to do a solitary retreat, concentrating all his meditation practice on the Buddha Maitreya, in the fervent hope that he would be blessed with a vision of this Buddha and receive teachings from him.

For six years Asanga meditated in extreme hardship, but did not even have one auspicious dream. He was disheartened and thought he would never succeed with his aspiration to meet the Buddha Maitreya, and so he abandoned his retreat and left his hermitage. He had not gone far down the road when he saw a man rubbing an enormous iron bar with a strip of silk. Asanga went up to him and asked him what he was doing. "I haven't got a needle," the man replied, "so I'm going to make one out of this iron bar. "Asanga stared at him, astounded; even if the man were able to manage it in a hun-dred years, he thought, what would be the point? He said to himself: "Look at the trouble people give themselves over things that are totally absurd. You are doing something really valuable, spiritual practice, and you're not nearly so dedi-cated." He turned around and went back to his retreat.

Another three years went by, still without the slightest sign from the Buddha Maitreya. "Now I know for certain," he thought "I'm never going to succeed." So he left again, and soon came to a bend in the road where there was a huge rock, so tall it seemed to touch the sky. At the foot of the rock was a man busily rubbing it with a feather soaked in water. "What are you doing?" Asanga asked. "This rock is so big it's stopping the sun from shining on my house, so I'm trying to get rid of it." Asanga was amazed at the man's indefatigable energy, and ashamed at his own lack of dedication. He returned to his retreat.

Three more years passed, and still he had not even had a single good dream. He decided, once and for all, that it was hopeless, and he left his retreat for good. The day wore on, and in the afternoon he came across a dog lying by the side of the road. It had only its front legs, and the whole of the lower part of its body was rotting and covered with maggots. Despite its pitiful condition, the dog was snapping at passers-by and pathetically trying to bite them by dragging itself along the ground with its two good legs.

Asanga was overwhelmed with a vivid and unbearable feeling of compassion. He cut a piece of flesh off his own body and gave it to the dog to eat. Then he bent down to take off the maggots that were consuming the dog's body. But he suddenly thought he might hurt them if he tried to pull them out with his fingers, and realized that the only way to remove them would be on his tongue. Asanga knelt on the ground, and looking at the horrible festering, writhing mass, closed his eyes. He leant closer and put out his tongue. The next thing he knew, his tongue was touching the ground. He opened his eyes and looked up. The dog was gone; there in its place was the Buddha Maitreya, ringed by a shimmering aura of light.

"At last," said Asanga, "why did you never appear to me before?"

Maitreya spoke softly: "it is not true that I have never appeared to you before. I was with you all the time, but your negative karma and obscurations prevented you from seeing me. Your twelve years of practice dissolved them slightly so that you were at last able to see the dog. Then, thanks to your genuine and heartfelt compassion, all those obscurations were completely swept away and you can see me before you with your very own eyes. If you don't believe that this is what happened, put me on your shoulder and try and see if anyone else can see me." Asanga put Maitreya on his right shoulder and went to the marketplace, where he began to ask everyone: "What have I got on my shoulder?" "Nothing," most people said, and hurried on. Only one old woman, whose karma had been slightly purified, answered: "You've got the rotting corpse of an old dog on your shoulder, that's all. "Asanga at last understood the boundless power of compassion that had purified and transformed his karma, and so made him a vessel fit to receive the vision and instruction of Maitreya. Then the Bud-dha Maitreya, whose name means "loving kindness," took Asanga to a heavenly realm, and there gave him many sublime teachings that are among the most important in the whole of Buddhism.

[paph]

Thankyou for sharing your beautiful experience beautypath.