What would you do? (dealing with assholes)

[teletrue]

I'm currently a student, home for the summer, who goes to school out of state.
I have my herb man (a few) when I go to school, and I have one here at home for the summer, spring break, etc. I have a couple other people here I can go to in town, but this guy is always "good", and rather than try to find another constant source, I've learned to deal with the bullshit this guy feels is necessary to put me through. Shame, I know.

Lets see..where do I begin..

Ok. To start off, the guy is old enough to be my father and has his PhD.. Unforunately for him, and his ego, he can't keep a job because he can't get along with the people he works with. So he sits at home all day. His wife works, and they'll buy a QP every now and then and sell some to people like me, and a couple other people. He's usually pretty good about letting me pay half for a bag, and getting him the rest whenever I have it. That IS a pretty cool thing to do.

BUT..

That's when he bothers to answer his phone, or call me back. To avoid bill collectors, or anyone he "really doesn't feel like being bothered with", he chooses not to pick up the phone when I happen to be looking around, and when I leave him a message on his answering machine (that I know he's sitting beside, listening to - 2 rings later), he bothers not to call me back.

Long story short, I gave him a ring the other night because I needed something (and was able to pay in full), and when the answering machine clicked on, I left him a short message just saying "hey, just wondering how things were going, gimme a call when you get a chance". I waited an hour, and called back - only to have the phone ring twice and have the answering machine click on (meaning he basically hit the "ignore and listen" button). I left another message, waited an hour, and called back. Same thing.
Finally after 3 hours of not hearing anything back, I busted my ass calling people I hadn't talked to in months trying to find a bag, and eventually did.

The next day (yesterday), my phone rings as I'm driving on the interstate. I figured it was another buddy of mine and figured I'd call him back when I could. When I saw my missed calls, I find out it was my herb man trying to call me. After having my calls denied all night long, I was glad I hadn't answered. Oh, and he bothered not to leave a voicemail.

So today, I get my phone to find I have a missed call and a new voicemail. I see my herbman has called me again and so I check my voicemail, where he blatently admits to ignoring me - while chuckling to himself - "yeah we decided to have a night in last night so yeah I was kind of off the radar...but yeah I don't have anything right now..probably next week..". All I could think was "Well you goddamn asshole, it would've been nice to know you had nothing so I wouldn't have wasted 3 hours trying to get ahold of your ass only to have you IGNORE me"

There has been many times where he's ignored my calls, where I've left messages, knowing he and his wife are sitting there listening to me.

I haven't spoken to him yet, but I plan on letting him know I'm sick of this bullshit of ignoring me, and then calling me when he 'feels like it'. I mean, lets face it. He needs me more than I need him.

Sorry that's so long, but I have nobody else to rant to, and I figured you all could give me a bit of advice, or support, or call me an idiot, whatever.

Thanks in advance,
Tele..

[mycot]

Find another source. No sense in putting up with shit if you can avoid it.
That way you can keep smiling.

[bluefungis182]

yea it's always good to have a backup source for when things like this happen, but i dont think he was being an asshole though he probably has a life to.

[teletrue]

Yeah..
I know the majority of people would probably say that..
And I do want another source.
I know the other half will say "well if he's willing to front it to you, then you might want to deal with the bullshit that he gives you". I realize that too..I mean, I don't think anyone else I know right now would front me something, regardless of how long I've known them, etc. But damn, this shit is growing old. I wish he'd just wisen up, being mr. -excuse me- "Dr." PhD, and realize that it's just not good for business to be a complete asshole to your customers. I feel he doesn't mind fronting something because he likes feeling "in control", like "now YOU HAVE to pay me". Just more ego bullshit.

[teletrue]

Originally Posted by bluefungis182

yea it's always good to have a backup source for when things like this happen, but i dont think he was being an asshole though he probably has a life to.

No. He really doesn't have a life. He barely leaves his house.

And sitting there, by the phone, pushing the answering machine button and letting me waste by breath for three hours, rather than just picking up and saying "no we don't have anything, and we're just going to stay around the house tonight", really is kind of an asshole thing to do. And doing it numerous times, over an extended period (2-3 years..) you'd probably be tired of being treated the way I have too.

[bluefungis182]

i disagree on the fronting part if he fronts you it's because he trust's you and knows your good for it.

[teletrue]

Originally Posted by bluefungis182

i disagree on the fronting part if he fronts you it's because he trust's you and knows your good for it.

He should know that about me..
I've been playing this damn game with him for several years.
His famous comment has been "It's ok, my son knows where you live"

[mycot]

Putting up with the bullshit may just be a price that needs to be paid if one cant avoid dealing with an asshole. Not too much sense in getting upset though, some people are just A-holes. Also try to remain in control yourself rather than allowing others to feel that they have disempowered you.

[teletrue]

Originally Posted by mycot

Putting up with the bullshit may just be a price that needs to be paid if one cant avoid dealing with an asshole. Not too much sense in getting upset though, some people are just A-holes. Also try to remain in control yourself rather than allowing others to feel that they have disempowered you.

Very good points..Thank you.
With someone of his sort of ego, he feels he disempowers most things.
But I'll try to remain in control of me.

[Hippie3]

what do you figure he earns by selling you a sack ?
do you really think it's enough that he should be on-call for you ?
i used to sling a little weed
and i knew many jerks who thought their sack
was more important than my life.
they'd call on my freaking anniversary
or christmas eve,
expecting me to drop everything
so they could have some fun
never thinking that their fun = work for me.
he's commiting a felony, doing you a favor
and you have the nerve to bitch about
the favor not being quick enough.
take your business elsewhere,
he'll never miss the few bucks he makes off you
and maybe you then will learn
that you had a pretty sweet deal with him.

[Happycaps]

I couldnt of said it better myself hippie!!

[TVCasualty]

Then again, selling weed is still a business. Calling someone on Christmas eve to get a sack is not cool at all, but are they in business or aren't they? I get sacks from people like this PhD sometimes, and I am holding up my end (calling at appropriate times, paying when I receive it, being flexible and never needing anything "right now") so I would appreciate a little professionalism on their part too.

Communication is key. Have you talked with this PhD about these problems? Does he just not know how to run a business? Has he ever established and told you times when he would prefer you call or not call (business hours)?

Some guys are in denial about being in the weed business, acting sloppy and unprofessional on purpose since they like to think "I'm just doing them a favor, I'm not really a drug dealer!" And then they end up doing "favors" on a regular basis for profit, still telling themselves they aren't drug dealers. Well, they are, and no one is forcing them to commit that felony.

Still, you can't force anyone to do anything, so if you like weed, develop multiple sources and go see the first one who calls you back when they said they would, but be sure to hold up your end too.

The guy mentioned here will always be like this; it's clearly his life's sad pattern, so you're gonna have to put up with it or go elsewhere. Or grow your own, ultimately.

As a buyer:
-Have multiple sources
-Pay for it when you get it
-Keep your word
-Don't be a joneser
Then, if it is still a pain in the ass, you can complain, but I'd still just go to source #2 or 3.

[apokalypse]

Bite your tongue. It sounds like you are jonesing for weed, regardless of when you call. If you know he's not going to pick up the phone, don't get all bent out of shape if he doesn't call back. What if he was doing yard work, or out at the store getting groceries? Hell, what if he was in the bathtub for two hours and you're freaking out about nothing? Maybe you should save up your money for a week instead of calling him every other day for a small bag, and then you can buy a somewhat larger bag that will last you just as long for cheaper. You even admitted he buys a large amount now and then, that isn't going to guarantee a large supply, right?

[teletrue]

Hip,
Considering I'm one of 3 people he sells to,
He might miss the money I throw his way about every week.
I don't call at inappropriate times..I know better than to call on christmas eve or thanksgiving or even halloween.
I've never needed anything "right now" and sometimes end up meeting him the next day.
I don't value my sack more than his life.
I've never bitched before about it.
I don't think he's doing me a favor
by letting me waste my breath
sitting listening to his answering machine, getting a good chuckle
instead of picking up, or calling back to tell me he's not good.
So Yeah. I DO have the nerve to bitch about it.
Especially since he had told me to call him on the day I did.
That he would be "good"
That's not doing anybody a favor.
All I'd like, is for him to realize that ignoring someone who throws you a good chunk of the money you earn per week whenever you feel like it isn't too bright, or polite.
Hah, and "pretty sweet deal"
Yeah, I just LOVE waiting around on him to (not) call me back. That IS sweet deal. Ha.
The point being, if you don't want to deal with someone, don't tell them to call you.


And TVcasualty,
you're right. He doesn't see it as a business. I know the rules, and I've been pretty good about biting my tongue.

Apokalypse,
All very valid points. But it's pretty easy to tell when he hits the "ignore and let the machine get it" button. i've been over there when he's done it to other people, so no, it's not just me he blatently ignores.

Happycaps...
No real comment.

[Hippie3]

understand that most of that money
you throw his way
is NOT profit.

he either buys wholesale & re-sells at retail
or grows it-
either way it costs him money
which lowers his take.

i don't see selling a few sacks
as a business
and certainly any dealer who acts like walmart
will end his rather short career in prison.

so what if he chooses not to take a call ?
isn't that his perogative ?

he's not pavlov's dog that jumps at the ring of a bell.
maybe he just doesn't feel like fucking with it right then.

it's a seller's market,
bitch all you want,
we'll just have to have a difference of opinion

[teletrue]

well..I can't really say I care if you think I'm being the asshole. I can respect it, but that's about it.
I ask you though, what would you do in my situation - not being "hippie3" - but being me. With one dealer in town, who acts the way my guy does.
What would you do? Not being a smartass here, I'm looking for any sort of resolve for this.

[Hippie3]

i get treated like that regularly,
had the exact same thing happen last week.
i called my guy, left messages
even drove by his house & left a note.
a couple days later he finally calls
but i'm at OZZFEST so i can't run right then.
next day i call, leave a message,
nadda.
so i went elsewhere,
saved myself $40 too.
when my buddy finally called back a day later
with some lame excuse
i just said oh sorry man, already did my thing, catch you next time.
no big deal.
such is life.
been done that way many, many times
and even worse, too.

[the jesus]

Grow your own.

[Happycaps]

Find a new source, but wait then you couldnt get sacks fronted for half of the price! Bite your tongue. you have a good situation for a poor stoner.

[teletrue]

Originally Posted by Hippie3

i get treated like that regularly,
had the exact same thing happen last week.
i called my guy, left messages
even drove by his house & left a note.
a couple days later he finally calls
but i'm at OZZFEST so i can't run right then.
next day i call, leave a message,
nadda.
so i went elsewhere,
saved myself $40 too.
when my buddy finally called back a day later
with some lame excuse
i just said oh sorry man, already did my thing, catch you next time.
no big deal.
such is life.
been done that way many, many times
and even worse, too.

Thanks hip. I get what you're saying.

[teletrue]

Originally Posted by Happycaps

Find a new source, but wait then you couldnt get sacks fronted for half of the price! Bite your tongue. you have a good situation for a poor stoner.

Wow..you're assuming I spend all my money on weed, and have no other hobbies I engage myself in that cost money too.

Nice way to make assumptions.

[vitae1234]

Originally Posted by the jesus

Grow your own.

Agreed... if you are that upset about a source being flaky and unreliable, become your own source.

[teletrue]

Yes..I wish to do this too..but between living out of state 9 months out of the year, and living in an apartment complex (where other people can smell it and landlords come and go) when I'm not home..it's pretty much out of the question..but yeah, hopefully someday.

[Happycaps]

I apologize for my post. I wasnt making an assumption I was going by what you had stated. I too have several hobbies that cost money. Maybe he is nice enough to front to you but that might be why you get put on the ignore list. I dont know you repour with your dealer but I know that I would rather deal with people that always have money than people who might not always have it. Good luck figuring this all out.

[mycot]

Best not seek all this fronting business, It'll only make you feel obligated.
Plus making things more complicated.

You made some good points TV. It is good when dealers and customers treat each other with basic respect and integrity.

[Cafro]

I read like three lines of this and almost threw a gallon of milk out the window,,I think there is something wrong with you......maybe its time for rehab?

[Hippie3]

TV missed the point though,
it's normally not a felony to conduct
business.
that's what turns
a retail transaction into a favor-
he's commiting a felony
for more possible time
and less money
than robbing a 7-11.
think on that a bit
when you demand 'professionalism'

[mycot]

I'm not sure I'm following you Hip. A dealer who acts unprofessional is sure to lose business plus reputation. Sure some might be doing so well that they can afford to be A-holes. Still even this cant be good in the long run.

[Hippie3]

bull.
if he's got the good shit
no one cares if he's a dick,
he's still your best friend.
been there, done that.
seen dudes that hate my guts
kiss my ass
for some good afghani

never ran out of buyers, just weed.

[mycot]

Well your obviously in a situation where it's a sellers market.
In some places good business expecially when one has compeditors is dependant on good practice.