revenge is healthy? whats more important, being right or being happy?

[orchid]

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Who is Better at Revenge, Men or Women?
by www.SixWise.com

</TD></TR><TR><TD>When it comes to seeing a fair and trustworthy person harmed, we all feel a sense of empathy. But if that person is perceived as deserving of the harm, men may get a sense of satisfaction, and actually enjoy the person's misfortune.
This is according to a new study by University College London, published in Nature. When it comes to revenge, the researchers found, men seem to welcome it.....
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http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/02/22/who_is_better_at_revenge_men_or_women.htm

[Hippie3]

a study of 32 people isn't very conclusive, imo.

[bugs]

The trangressions of the folks in the study weren't exactly harsh. I'm not sure at all how it would work out with males and females being really hurt. Or, in the case of women's desire for revenge in particular, how it would be if their offspring were injured. We've all heard about irritable mama bears.

True, forgiveness is a balm to the soul. But some injuries are too great to leave unpunished. I try to forgive, but somewhere I read that "revenge is a dish best served cold." Works for me.

[orchid]

yeah, i like revenge. *shrugs* i like my revenge very cold.
revenge on the rocks.

[Doctor D]

You won't always be right, and you won't always be happy. Better to learn how to accept the times when you aren't happy and when you aren't right than to worry about either.

Anybody can forgive someone who "deserves" forgiveness. If you've forgiven someone who deserves forgiveness, what have you really forgiven? The bigger person forgives someone who does not deserve it. That's what forgiveness is all about.

[Hippie3]

revenge is a waste of time.

[hyphaenation]

One of my favorite books/movies is all about the wastes of revenge ...

The Count Of Monte Cristo

[bugs]

I've forgiven many who didn't deserve it. And it is, indeed, the better path. Forgiveness almost always brings personal relief.

But some wrongs are sufficiently egregious and evil that I haven't been able to forgive. That's my weakness, and I make no excuses or apologies.

Sometimes people need to be brought up short when they have torn apart families for no other reason than their own twisted prejudice and stupidity, fueled by malicious lies. When they prey on and terrorize the weak for their own illicit personal gain and pleasure.

They need to be brought up short. They need to understand that they cannot spread their poison without regard for consequences.

It will not and cannot right the wrongs they have done, but it may make them think twice before targeting another victim.

[Beastmaster]

Yeah if you think about it, revenge is sort of a compliment to the person that pissed you off in the first place. You're saying "you made such an impact on my life I've been thinking about it ever since", which is just what the person that shat on you wants.

I prefer to forgive my enemies, and then promptly put the matter out of my mind. Its the last thing they'll expect, and it pisses them the hell off to know that all that button pushing they did was for naught. I'm not saying forget all about it, cuz they might persist in being a thorn in your side, but dealing with each new transgression will be easier if you don't have all that emotion getting in your way of a proper retort.

Then years later, go back and let all the air out of their tires and put dead fish in their mailbox.

[TVCasualty]

For a particularly profound and sobering look at the whole problem of revenge vs. forgiveness, I highly recommend a documentary called "Forgiving Dr. Mengele"

A little background info:

Eva Mozes Kor and her sister Miriam were born in northern Transylvania. In 1944, Nazis transported her immediate family to Auschwitz-Birkenau. Because Eva and Miriam were twins, Dr. Mengele selected them to remain alive for experiments. The rest of their family were never heard of again and are believed to have been exterminated.

Eva and Miriam remained in Auschwitz for nine months, enduring experimentation such as being injected with potentially lethal strains of bacteria (and not given treatment). After World War II, they went to Romania and then immigrated to Israel. Eva served in the Israeli Army for ten years. After meeting a tourist who was a Holocaust survivor living in the United States, the two were married, and she moved to the US. In Terre Haute, Indiana, they raised a family and she became a successful realtor and created the C.A.N.D.L.E.S Museum, which is dedicated to education about the Holocaust. Her husband, Michael, is a pharmacist.

In 1995, Eva Kor announced that she had forgiven the Nazis. This caused much anger from other survivors. Eva Kor makes speeches about forgiveness to schools and organizations. She is featured in The Forgiveness Project. Her story of personal forgiveness is the subject of Forgiving Dr. Mengele.

The most fascinating aspect of the movie was the vitriolic hatred expressed by other holocaust survivors towards her (a fellow survivor, and of worse treatment than most!) when she forgave the nazis. Those unfortunate souls were still being tortured many decades after the nazis were defeated, but they were doing it to themselves. Later, Eva had to also forgive the idiots who torched her museum in Indiana.

The revenge question is this: Do I want to be happy and enjoy my life, or do I want to be a reactionary, bitterly cornered and controlled by the people who I believe harmed me? Forgiveness is not about the moron who did something to us, it's about us taking control of our own lives, seems to me.

[Mermaidia]

Forgiveness is not about the moron who did something to us, it's about us taking control of our own lives, seems to me.

Indeed. IMO, When we don't forgive, those that have wronged us still have "power" over us. Eventually it begins to consume us from the inside out. Dictating how we react to many things. Letting go is a great feeling. I have learned that lesson the hard way.