Universal Laws (Humor)

[tenjin]

Universal Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works
every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you
know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the
ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or
the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or
the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move
once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter
end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very
surly folk.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until
the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you
find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't
make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

[Shroomette]

[marmy]

I experienced a couple of those this past week

[greenie]

hehehe

[Doqaz]

lol

I've learned a few of those x(

20. Law of Thermodinamics - Water will be warm until you're completely exposed to it's coldness.

[tenjin]

Haha nice- thx for that last one Doqaz.
I was thinking of one the other day that should be on the list sometimes they will pop into your head during the daily rituals of life.